Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
