mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
