Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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