Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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