Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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