this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
