I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
