i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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