His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize