just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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