I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
