I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
two words...techno handjob
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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