i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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