I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
