well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
