So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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