i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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