im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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