Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
