Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
