i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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