evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think a kid would responsible me up
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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