Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
