It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
high people should be assigned attendants
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Randomize
