Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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