i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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