woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
