Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
