I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
