my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Life is so much better after having sex.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize