I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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