i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
