dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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