ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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