i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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