i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
