Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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