batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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