Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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