An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
