Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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