At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
