Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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