Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
