I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
