watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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