Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize