Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
