I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize