She announced her abortion via fbk
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
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Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
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that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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