Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
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