i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
