Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
