i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
