She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
