There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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