if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
