he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
