No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
