tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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