Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize